A singer named Randy had a bit of an odd request for a song. He’s in Monticello, Indiana, working the lobby of a place called The Brandywine Inn.  Apparently, he sits in a corner with a microphone and nothing else.  Well, I’m guessing he’s dressed, but one never knows.  Anyway,  he wants this Bee Gees classic without any violins, trumpets, or harps.  What?  You’re killing me here, Randy.  Just piano, bass, guitar, and drums?  That’s it?  It’s the Bee Gees, man!  But all is not lost.  He needs a backup vocal track.  At least that gives me a little bit of fun.   But you know best, Randy.  It’s your gig, after all, not mine.  There might be other people who need it this way, so I’m putting this arrangement on the Pop/Rock list.  But couldn’t we throw in just one violin?  Guess not.

Barry and Robin Gibb wrote “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” in 1970 in an hour and a half.  They composed it in the style of Andy Williams (who never sang anything without a violin, by the way… Randy).  They offered it to Williams, but he turned it down.  So The Bee Gees recorded it themselves and it became their first No. 1 hit in the United States.  Before that they had minor hits with terrible songs like “I Started a Joke”, but this tune was a turning point for them.  Then along came Disco and the rest is history.

If you ever stop in at the “Brandywine”, you might casually walk up to Randy and say, “Ya know, that song would really sound good with strings.”  Just for fun…

  Download Instrumental   Where were you in December, 1963? Not alive yet? Too bad, cause you missed the best era of music ever.  This song came out right smack dab in the middle of the “disco craze”, but was never actually considered a disco tune.  But I remember being in plenty of discos in the 70’s and dancing to this one nearly every night.  And, over the years, I’ve played this song a million times.  It always gets the crowd out on the dance floor.  So, if you’re having trouble getting your audience to pay attention, trot this baby out there.  Guaranteed to get ’em dancing.  That’s your job, after all.

The Four Seasons recorded this in 1975 and it was their last number one hit.  The official title is “December, 1963”, but everyone knows it as “Oh, What a Night”.  Kinda silly, really.  The first line is “Oh, what a night – late December back in ’63” – and that’s the only time December is mentioned.  But “Oh, what a night” is repeated over and over and over again.  Go figure.  Artists, right?

What’s worse – Frankie Valli didn’t sing the lead.  I mean, you hear “Four Seasons” and you think Frankie Valli – who else?  But, oh no.  For some reason, they let the drummer, Gerry Polci, do the honors and reduced Frankie to backup vocals.  How dare they take my favorite Italian out of the spotlight (his real name is Francesco Stephen Castelluccio – kinda rolls nicely off the tongue, doesn’t it?).   I think Frankie could have done it even better, but that’s just me.

Makes no difference, I guess, who sang it.  Now it’s your turn.  Take these backup tracks and have some fun with it …

    Being “stoned ” doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with marijuana.  In this song, what’s getting us stoned is moonshine mixed with honey and sassafras – sounds like a good combination to me.  That’s the same concoction Granny mixed up as “rheumatiz medicine” on The Beverly Hillbillies.  She joked that it might not cure your aches and pains but “it sure made you happy you got it”.  Those were different times, folks.

The 5th Dimension released this one in 1968.  They loved the song and couldn’t believe it was written by a white girl from the Bronx.  I guess the attitude then was white people can’t write soulful songs.  The writer’s name escapes me now…no, wait… Laura Nyro, that’s it.  After this tune became a huge hit, they recorded several more Laura Nyro masterpieces, like “Sweet Blindness” and “Save the Country”.  But none of these measured up to “Stoned Soul Picnic”.

Now I’m going to clear up one of the great musical mysteries of all time.  What does “surry” mean? The very first line is “Can you surry, can you picnic” – then the chorus is “Surry down to a stoned soul picnic”.  I always envisioned people traveling to this great picnic in a horse and carriage (a surrey) – women in big hats carrying parasols and men with ascots around their neck.  But you’ll notice that the “surry” in the song drops the “e” – so it’s not a horse and carriage thing.  When asked what the word “surry” means, Nyro said, “Oh, it’s just a nice word”.  Turns out, it’s actually a slurred play on the phrase “Let’s hurry”.  Surry.   Say it and think “Let’s hurry”.  Works, doesn’t it?  Now the song makes sense.  You were a sly one, Laura.

  Download MP3    Over dinner the other night at Ruby Tuesday, my wife/mistress/best friend/chick singer suddenly asked. “Why didn’t we ever do the song Build me up, Buttercup?”  Now, where did that come from?  Did I miss something between the Shrimp Fondue and the Cajun Rib Eye?  “Uh, I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe because you never asked.”  She looked at me kinda funny and said, “Do you think I should have?”  Okay… this could be a trick question.  Did she ask me to work it up in 1997 and I forgot?  Entirely possible.  I scanned the menu for buttermilk biscuits which could have, you know, reminded her.  Nothing.  Best to admit I was wrong.  About what, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.  I was just wrong not to have ever performed that song…. period.

“Build Me Up, Buttercup” is one of those tunes that you hear and think it’s pretty good, but then promptly forget you ever heard it.  Then, two years later, you’re wandering through the produce department at Winn-Dixie and there it is again – happily streaming through the ceiling speakers.  You leave the store and it’s out of your head again for another two years.  The song is just…well…forgettable.

“The Foundations” recorded this one in 1968 – bet you don’t remember them either.  They were the first multi-racial group to ever have a hit.  Interesting.  It really is a good piece of music and could work in a small dance venue.  I won’t ever do it – can’t remember the lyrics – but you might want to give it a try.  The original had lots of backup vocals but I’m using horns instead since I arranged it with “solo performer” in mind.  It’s on the Pop/Rock list.

Quick!  Download the backing tracks…. before you forget!  D’oh!